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  I just took the OLCC class for the 3rd time since moving to Oregon. What a bunch of B.S. The fact that I can get sued over something a grown person chose to do is absurd. As if it weren't for me, these people wouldn't find a way to drink anyway. Like I just shanghai'd their innocent asses right off the street, held a .38 to their heads, and commanded them to drink rotgut. Ooohkay. You may hate California, I'm not big on it either, but at least there you can do your job in peace without dealing with this crap. There if you fuck up it's on you, like it should be. Since I scored 100% on all 3 tests (whoop de do, like it's so hard), I'll spare you those questions and give you a test I came up with on my own.

  #1. The OLCC is:

   A. A great waste of our tax dollars

   B. Hypocrites, seeing as the head of the OLCC got a DUI 2 years ago

   C. Wannabe cops sent out to spy on people having a good time

   D. All of the above

  #2. The liability law is:

   A. A way for people to get out of being held responsible for their actions by blaming their bad decisions on others

   B. A way for the state to shut down those bad, evil bars they so like to drink at

   C. A way for the state to bleed more cash out of bars and servers since taxing them up the yin yang isn't good enough for them

   D. All of the above

  #3. When an OLCC agent asks to see your server's permit you should:

   A. Laugh at them

   B. Stop what you're doing and go smash their windshield

   C. Tell them what assholes they are for working for the OLCC

   D. Laugh at them, then tell them what assholes they are for working for the OLCC while your barback smashes their windshield (tip him extra for that)

  I'm sure you don't need an answer key. By the way, does anyone know how to get one of those Fuck the OLCC shirts? My work requires we wear all black, and that will do nicely.